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12/8/02

A couple days ago, I had a dream that I was taken hostage by some evil people and something went wrong with their negotiations with the CIA or something, and they shot me dead in the head.  No blood or anything, just a nice clean wound.  I must have a sick sense of humor or something.  Well, I didn't like that ending, so I replayed it again.  And this time, I had to go to trial with my sister.  Everyone of my immediate family was there and this trial was to see who will live, me or my sister.  Well, all odds were against me, and I was getting desperate.  Suddenly, a huge fish swam out of the ocean ate the jurors and there was an escape pod, which I took to the stars.  

Ok, so maybe I have so much control in my dreams, that what is suppose to happen doesn't happen.  And what happens is just plain weird.  But basically, it all means I've passed the point of no return in my personal and spiritual development.  

So, census from my friends, show that I should fool around and go on dates with guys, but not get too serious, and still wait for Matt.  I've been doing that the last semester and this semester, and it's always been hard because I'm just goofing off, not taking anything seriously, but the men I've gone out with wanted to get serious.  So with sad regret, I've broken their hearts.  I'm a terrible person!

Anyways, no more fooling around (=  It's not right to play with people's hearts like that.  So I'm on Bachelorette mode, which would be tons easier if I didn't live on a college campus, such as ASU...hehehe.  Anyways, I'll prove strong (=

So I'll create my rules and guidelines for the following semester:

1) never tell Matt anything about my affairs
2) never get too involved with any of my affairs
3) if I do date, I have to keep it secret from everyone at the dorm or else, it might reach Matt
4) don't tell any of my dates about Matt
5) don't get back with ex-boyfriends
6) never initiate dates--let the dude decide
7) maybe it'll be better if I dont' go on any dates at all--I don't wanna hurt anyone else because my heart's somewhere else

I'll start getting serious next year, when I'm 20 ^.^  I'll wait and see where things go from there (=

I feel so drained...when people are sad, I soak it up like a sponge.  I try.  I empathize (=

Oh yeah, spending time on Navajo land was an experience (=  I was soooo happy for that break (= I don't really feel like saying anything about it though because of a request...so just befriend a Navajo (=

Btw, fry bread has been added to my list of favorite foods:
Sushi, fry bread, baklava, ice cream, sapin-sapin, halo halo, kare kare, sinigang, lumpia, lechon, pastillas, rambutan, nectarine, mango, grapes, milkshakes, juices, smoothies, naan, tandoori chicken, thai iced tea boba, pho, lemon chicken, cinnamon rolls, chocolate, apple pie, cake, crepes, bratwurst, fettucini alfredo, hawaiian pizza, cheese pizza, garlic bread, strawberry daiquiri, peking duck, tortillas, fillet mignon, fries from In and Out, mom's spaghetti, macaroni and cheese, Korean bbq, elk, mutton, chicken anything, Navajo Chile, feta cheese, muenster cheese, caviar, smoked salmon, crabs, lobster

Green Banana: Square One